Awkward Black Girl

My meeting with my coworkers was dismissed and just like everyone else I got up to leave the room but for some reason, I didn’t see the huge chair in my way and I bumped into it so hard. My awkwardness never ceases to amaze me. 🤦🏾‍♀️

Shout out to Issa Rae for making it okay to be an awkward black girl. In her series that’s now an HBO hit, Insecure, she chronicles life as an awkward black girl in a predominantly white environment.

Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to shadow a barrister at a Barrister’s Chambers in the U.K. This would be my first time working in an all-white environment. Here is what went through my mind as I rode to work on Day 1.

April 23, 2019

So today will be my first day of a 3-day work shadowing in a Barrister’s Chambers in the U.K. and nervous is an understatement of how I’m feeling.

I went on their website and realized only one black person worked there. Hmmm, this is going to be interesting. Representation is so important and being a minority is honestly uncomfortable most times.

My hair is currently in faux locs and in the days leading up to the work shadowing I contemplated taking them out to look more “presentable.” But in the end, I did not take them out. However, to be honest, I was beyond nervous about the way people would view me in court, “the black girl with locs”. After all, on Fashion Police when Giuliana Rancic saw Zendaya on the red carpet with faux locs, she described Zendaya as smelling like patchouli oil or weed just because of her hairstyle.

Lol I really need to stop psyching myself out. I’ll let you know how it goes.

But I’m here reminding myself that I’m unique and I’m proud to be the black girl with locs (fake ones but I’m sure they won’t be able to tell the difference anyway).

Sometimes our minds trick us and make us feel inadequate but my accomplishments speak for themselves and if my appearance is an issue for someone they’ll just have to deal with it. Today I’m happy to be the awkward black girl. 😜
June 16, 2019

Update: There was no awkwardness felt that day except for my occasional dozing off during a trial lol. To be honest there is a reason why I felt the way that I did. With the state of the world today and the treatment of black people in general, I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable about the idea of working in an all-white setting.

This is why I am so happy when I see black people doing their thing. Honestly, people think that we are inadequate and we cannot accomplish amazing things. I know what I did to get that work shadowing and my resume spoke for itself. So if you’re feeling insecure about your place in the world or doubting your accomplishments please look back and remind yourself of all the amazing things you’ve done thus far. The sky is the limit and I’m rooting for you!

Disclaimer: This is in no way a shot at white people, just an honest telling of how I felt. 🙂

Thank you for reading!

-Sincerely,

An Awkward Black Girl xx