Dealing with Imposter Syndrome in Law School

There I was, in my first Examination in Chief small group session. I looked around and realized for the first time in my life that I was the only black person. To make matters worse, the other people in the class were friends so they sat together and I was on the other side all by myself. I felt so uncomfortable and as weird as it sounds, this was one of the few times that I felt conscious about my differences…

To add fuel to an already uncomfortable situation, I was the first speaker and I was so nervous. As I mentioned in last week’s blog, I accidentally started asking leading questions (questions that have yes/no answers and should be asked in Cross Examination). The teacher made me ask my questions over a few times and the other students in the class laughed at me. If you couldn’t tell from last week’s blog, I’m super sensitive. I kept my cool as my teacher gave me not so great feedback but once the class ended, I went into the bathroom and cried. After crying, I had to get myself together because in the next 10 minutes I had another class with these same people that involved more speaking, Conference Skills.

The funny thing about my bar school experience was that I actually liked my seminar group where my entire class was together but it was the small group sessions that really broke me down. In those small group sessions, I felt like an imposter, an outcast, like I didn’t belong but as much as I hated going to that class I had to check myself each morning before that class because I wasn’t an imposter. I deserved to be there just as much as they did.

Harvard Business Review defines Imposter syndrome as feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success and is seen through chronic self-doubt. Many people have written about imposter syndrome before. Why not add one more blog post to the list of posts already made about it? Here is my take and my tips for dealing with that annoying thing called imposter syndrome.

1. Don’t feed into the rat race: Law school is a rat race. Everyone puts up a front that they’re so smart. Law school is constantly doubting yourself because the next person comes across as smarter than you and you should be the smarter one, not them…right? Wrong. It’s not a competition. As difficult as it is, you should not be comparing yourself to anyone else on your course. So what if they got a higher grade than you? So what if they got an opportunity that you wanted? This is your race. Stay in your lane. Focus on doing your best and ignore the rat race.
2. Know your capabilities: Its important for you to be honest with yourself. You may have subjects that you’re strong at and subjects that you’re weak at. Give yourself praise when you do great. For the subjects that you struggle with, spend more time trying to understand them. Spend more time practicing. Ask for help. Get tutoring if you have to. To be honest, sometimes we may find it embarrassing that we need help with a particular subject but are you going to let pride cost you? I remember in my Associates program, I knew I wasn’t that great at Math so I got a tutor. Maybe you need a tutor for subjects that you struggle with. Don’t be ashamed about it. Maybe you’re good at one subject and someone you know is good at a different subject. Why not offer to help them with the subject that you’re good at and they help you with the subject that they’re good at? I remember I became friends with one of my course mates by us helping each other with different subjects on my Associates program, Ilsha who became one of my closest friends and during my Bachelors, Cairo who is still one of my good friends.
3. Be gracious with yourself: In that moment when I had to deal with that speaking class, I was so hard on myself. I became anxious and overwhelmed and it was honestly a very difficult time for me. I cried so many times. One thing that I lacked during that time was grace. I didn’t give myself grace. There was no room to mess up because I had to prove myself. This was the wrong approach. When we mess up, it’s so important for us to give ourselves grace. Yes, we want to be amazing at everything we do but in those moments where things don’t go as planned, give yourself grace. If you can freely give grace to others, why not extend some of that grace to yourself?
4. Know your worth: Even without a law degree I am worthy. Even if I don’t end up being a household name one day I am still worthy. Do you know why? Because God said I’m worthy. When we understand who God says we are and understand why God placed us in certain situations, we have no choice but to rise to the occasion. Imposter where??? Lol. When we rely on our own might, we’ll definitely feed into the self-doubt but it’s important to remember that God is the one who will bring us through. God has our backs. God loves us and only wants what’s best for us. When we understand this, the only thing we can do is be the best versions of ourselves.

I know it’s easier said than done and so many people have their own tips for dealing with imposter syndrome but I hope this blog encouraged you in some way. In case no one told you lately You are all that and a bag of chips (I love chips so this is a pretty big deal and you’re a pretty big deal!). 

Go out there and be the best version of yourself wherever God places you because you are worthy and you deserve to be there!